Somewhere Between

They say, ‘The best things fall in between: sandwich meat, all your filling.’

When you fall somewhere in between, I don’t know what to call it actually, but really, it’s the worst feeling ever.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It really isn’t.

But it’s tough being a ‘betweener’ because it does feel like you have no one.

It feels like you don’t belong here or there,

You just .. fall somewhere in between.

When I was younger, I got good at pretending to fit in, making myself appear normal, talking things I didn’t care about, doing things I didn’t enjoy.

As I got older, I learned to embrace more off what made me unique and different, learned how to be more of myself and exist in a space of truth and authenticity alongside everyone else.

Yet, despite all the work I’ve done, there are still moments where the feeling of not belonging anywhere is all consuming. There will be a conversation and laughter, and I may even be enjoying myself .. until all of a sudden, I’m not, because I’m acutely aware of the truth: I don’t fit in here.

There was no person that made me feel unwanted, but still .. I just feel like I don’t belong there.

Honestly, I don’t think I have to belong anywhere.

Maybe I just have to learn to accept that I’m different from everyone.